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Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year. Anxiety disorders affect 25.1% of children between 13 and 18 years old. Research shows that untreated children with anxiety disorders are at higher risk to perform poorly in school, miss out on important social experiences, and engage in substance abuse.
Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide. Almost 75% of people with mental disorders remain untreated in developing countries with almost 1 million people taking their lives each year. In addition, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), 1 in 13 globally suffers from anxiety. The WHO reports that anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorders worldwide with specific phobia, major depressive disorder and social phobia being the most common anxiety disorders.2
Your depression is lying to you!
Your family will NOT be better off without you!
You are NOT worth more dead than alive!
Your mistakes DO NOT define you!
The thing with depression is that its an ongoing battle with the negative thoughts and emotions. Depression tells you lies that eventually can become too overwhelming to handle. Sadly I know that this can often lead to thoughts of, and completion of suicide. All it takes is a moment of complete despair paired with an opportunity and a moment of impulse to make a life changing decision. Because of this it has become my mission to spread awareness, break the stigma and let people know they are loved and supported and to help others have a better understanding of emotional wellness.
The Reality
- You are loved!
- You are good enough!
- You DO matter!
- This world is a better place with you in it!
- YOU are worthy!
You are the ONLY you in the entire world You are unique and bring a special light to this world that only you can give. You have a purpose on this earth and are alive for a reason.
What we need to do
We need to spread awareness about the fact that depression is real. We need to allow people to feel supported in their emotions. What I have noticed from my experience is how much of a stigma that we have on mental illness. Depression does not discriminate and looks different for everyone. Some people struggle with getting out of bed, while others make it to work each day, both could be suffering in their own way. You cannot simple look at someone and understand their emotional issues and what they are going thru. Make sure to be kind to everyone because everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Reach out to your friends, coworkers, neighbors and family members often and ask them how they are doing. Especially in this day of social media use, it can be easy for us to think we know what is going on in each others lives when in reality behind the scenes can be something completely different.
Here are some helpful resources that I have found:
Mental Health Resources for Men
The Mask You Live In – DVD Documentary
I Don’t Want to Talk About It – Book
ManTalks – Podcast
Mental Health Resources for Women
The Anxiety, Worry & Depression Workbook: 65 Exercises, Worksheets & Tips to Improve Mood and Feel Better – Book/Workbook
Brene Brown Call to Courage – Netflix Documentary
Emotional Badass – Podcast
Aroma Freedom Technique for Emotional Wellness
I was blessed enough to study and be mentored by Dr. Benjamin Perkus on Aroma Freedom Technique a mind body modality that is very helpful for emotional wellness. I have been using this technique for years to help others with things like PTSD, Stress, Anxiety, Trauma and releasing other emotional blocks for a few years. This has been a key factor in healing for myself and my children and I during this extremely difficult time of losing my husband to depression. The technique is very simple and easy to do at home. You can learn more here. If you are interested in having an AFT Session for yourself you can contact me here.
The Importance of Prioritizing Emotional Wellness
Our society has such an emphasis on physical wellness, reminding us to exercise regularly. But what about the focus on strengthening our emotional wellness daily? I am a firm believer that if we should be exercising for an hour a day that we should be at least dedicating 2 hours a day (preferably 3) to our mental and emotional wellness. Activities such as meditation, journaling, reading, positive affirmations and visualization should be the norm just as going to the gym or other form of physical exercise that are promoted. We need to normalize emotional wellness and let people know that they are not alone in their thoughts. From my experience the burden of carrying around dark, negative, thoughts and feelings can weigh very heavy on the the minds of those struggling with these thoughts. They can feel ashamed, alone and unable to express their feelings to others for fear of what they will think. Letting other people know that we are there for them to support and listen without judgement means so much. Showing others that there is strength in vulnerability and allowing them space to share their feelings and emotions is needed. When someone feels alone in their negative thoughts and beliefs it can be very isolating and can lead them intense emotional pain, which can often lead to suicide.
My Experience & Personal Views on Suicide
I used to have a very different view of suicide than I do now. I used to think it was a selfish act and couldn’t understand how anyone could take their life and leave their loved ones. After watching my husband suffer from depression and taking his own life I now have a greater understanding of how much a person is hurting, and how they don’t necessarily want to end their life as much as they want to end their pain. I used to think that suicide was preventable. I don’t necessarily believe that anymore. I think that you can help someone during hard times and that you can help to make someone’s life better, but ultimately, if they have made the decision to take their life, the only thing that can make them not follow thru with it is their own decision. All it takes is a moment of deep despair, and opportunity and an impulsive act to make a life changing decision that cannot be undone.
If you are considering suicide….
I can only tell you how suicide affects the survivors from my personal experience. If you are considering suicide because you think that you are a burden and your family and friends are better off without you, I promise you that couldn’t be further from the truth. Your people love you very much. Your loss will have such an impact on everyone you know. Suicide bereavement carries with it very complicated emotions of guilt, blame, unanswered questions, shame, etc. For the family and friends of someone who completes suicide, it is like being in the epicenter of an atomic bomb. Your loved one(s) who find you will experience PTSD and nightmares with that image that will never leave them. Their eating and sleeping patters will never be the same and they will forever mourn your loss. Your children will always be reminded of your loss every birthday, holiday and important event. Your friends will wonder what they could have done and beat themselves up over not returning your most recent call. On the day you take your life there are a series of events that unfold like dominos and crack the hearts of those you love forever. They will never be the same again. I know because I have experienced first hand the after effects of suicide when my husband took his life in May 2019.
You might think that this world is better off without you because #depressionlies. I’m here to tell you that your loss will have a tremendous impact on those who love and care about you, more than you can ever imagine! I want you to know that YOU matter and YOU are loved, there is help and hope. Life can get better. I understand that sometimes people leave this earth and it’s not because they wanted to end their life, but because they wanted to end their pain. I don’t share my experience with you to guilt you, I share it so that you know that there are many people that love you. You do not have to follow through on your thoughts and feelings, you can choose to get help, stay and fight these negative emotions.
If you are struggling with your own mental health, life’s hardships or suicidal thoughts here is a list of suicide and crisis hotlines worldwide:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA) – 800-273-8255
Toll Free European Number – 00800-1273-8255
Talk to Text (USA) – Text CONNECT to 741741
Talk to Text (Canada) – 686868
Lifeline Australia – Call 13-11-14
